amour.

One of my favorite memories is when I was a Sophomore in high school and I made the top choir for the following Junior year--a pretty rare and awesome thing. I was so happy and proud of myself and my mom bought me a beautiful little music note charm just like this one to wear around my neck. It stayed on me for what I think was two years until I lost it. I was so very sad then and even now wish I had that. I didn't know how much that memory and the fact that my mom gave me this token of her love meant so much to me. I know how much she cares about me and she is always finding ways to show me how much she loves me.

Sorry for the overload of photos of random shiz I like . . . but I am WAY visual. I'm obsessed with seeing these things not just me rambling about them. I think that's why I was always the annoying little sister that just ended up drawing pictures in her brother's missionary letters as opposed to actually writing anything; and why I can't take notes in a class for the life of me. Which may have something to do with my GPA--hmm. That's something to think about.

Dear Dave Matthews Band,

I get that I'm WAY behind the curve, but no one ever explained the appeal to me. "Oh right . . . those sixty seconds sounded just like ten other bands I can think of off the cuff--woopdy freaking doo!" No no no. Musicality. MUSICALITY at its very finest and greatest. Who knew a popular contemporary band is full of actual musicians with musicianship? News to me. GREAT news. But news. I'm sorry I doubted you. I bleed Dave now. Thanks. :)

Katie

I needed this a LOT today

"For what it's worth, it's never too late, or in my case too early - to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit; stop whenever you want. You can change, or stay the same - there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

*And you know what I love the most? I found this incredible photograph by google imaging "whimsy." My word of this week.

That Game I Sometimes Play

Sometimes I choose a great word or a meaningful phrase into Google Images and I just see what I get. I LOVE it--seriously, bored one night or have nothing to blog about, try this game. This one I Image Googled "sweetness of tomorrow" which I think is just a choice phrase. The ring is so dreamy and delicious with deep serious meaning and truth at the same time. These pics are what I found . . . I love the collaboration of random but wonderful things. Sublime. :)

Let's Try This Again

Remember when I used to get a lot of release and good times out of my blog? Remember THOSE days? I do! I do! I do! Well they're going to be back right . . . NOW! And we're starting with some good friends. My love for the Peanuts gang has been pretty big lately!

So let's be honest . . . a "friend" is really just someone that one has a social contract which says"If you appear to be cool, and I appear to be cool, and we spend time together, we can fool the world for a bit and APPEAR to not be losers." Too bad the world will always find out . . . eventually. :)

Pretense. Pose. Dramedy. Tragedy.
Affectation and Simulation.
I catch myself lining the silver clouds with a tinge of gray,
When really I should be singing in the orange and reds of day!
What a silly, silly girl or boy it is
That cannot sing and dance and skip.
Brooding and wallowing in the dis-
Tant streak. Buck up young chip!
You’ll have your chance—
But in the while, join me in PRANCE
And singing.
Sweet, sweet singing.
Dreamy, earthbound singing.

A New Interest

Yeah. YEAH! I'm SO into stage makeup these days. This class is going to be the hiz-nut. Yep. Hiz-nut. It's the rad new thing I'm spreading--you can make it happen too. I'll make t-shirts to support the cause.

This photograph makes me feel tranquil. And, well, not a lot of things can do that.

I haven't been this scared for a show like . . . ever.

Jason Robert Brown
The Last Five Years

There are people
And they are publishing my book
And there's a party that they're throwing
And while you've made it very clear that you're not going
I will be going
And that's done

But what's it really about?
Is it really about a party, Cathy?
Can we please for a minute stop blaming
And say what you feel?
Is it just that you're disappointed
To be touring again for the summer?

Did you think this would all be much easier
Than it's turned out to be?
Well, then talk to me, Cathy
Talk to me

If I didn't believe in you
We'd never have gotten this far
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are
If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow
THe fact of the matter is, Cathy
I wouldn't be standing here now

If I didn't believe in you
We wouldn't be having this fight
If I didn't believe in you
I'd walk out the door and say,"Cathy, you're right"
But I never could let that go
Knowing the things about you I know
Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew
It never took much convincing
To make me believe in you

Don't we get to be happy, Cathy?
At some point down the line
Don't we get to relax?
Without some new tsuris
To push me yet further from you?
If I'm cheering on your side, Cathy
Why can't you support mine?
Why do I have to feel
I've committed some felony
Doing what I always swore I would do?

I don't want you to hurt
I don't want you to sink
But you know what I think?
I think you'll be fine!
Just hang on and you'll see-
But don't make me wait till you do
To be happy with you
Will you listen to me?

No one can give you courage
No one can thicken your skin
I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy
I will not lose because you can't win
If I didn't believe in you
Then here's where the travelogue ends

If I didn't believe in you
I couldn't have stood before all of our friends
And said, "This is the life I choose-
This is the thing I can't bear to lose
Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall"
That's what I thought we agreed on, Cathy
If I hadn't believed in you
I wouldn't have loved you at all

Audience
by Mei-mei Berssenbrugge
People think at the theatre, an audience is tricked into believing it's looking at life. The film image is so large, it goes straight into your head. There's no room to be aware of or interested in people around you. Girls and cool devices draw audience, but unraveling the life of a real human brings the outsiders.
I wrote before production began, "I want to include all of myself, a heartbroken person who hasn't worked for years, who's simply not dead." Many fans feel robbed and ask, "What kind of show's about one person unresolved soul?"

Christina Rossetti

Caterpillar

Brown and furry
Caterpillar in a hurry,
Take your walk
To the shady leaf, or stalk,
Or what not,
Which may be the chosen spot.

No toad spy you,
Hovering bird of prey pass by you;
Spin and die,
To live again a butterfly.


Sometimes, just a simple children's poem is the best!

Degas. Fabulous.

This Week's Greatest Blessings . . . (in no particular order)
"I'm blessed with work." -My new adage
Laughter and Tears
Hope
Great Teachers Whom Have Shaped Who I Am
Learning to Be the Person I Know I Am
Mom
I've been really reflective lately--ha it's funny. Nice, just funny. That's a blessing, I think.
Fruit.
Sleep. Sometimes I am surprised at how much it fixes.
I'm excited to be someone new. I just need to found out who that is first.

"I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now,as some minor insignificant preamble to something else."

Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. - Evan Esar

*If that won't light a fire under my bum, nothing will . . . I am DEFINITELY guilty of this. I like that it presents something very poignant in a hysterical way though; yay!!! haha

"Art is about love . . . the love you never got as a child; the love you can't give as an adult; the love you can only give your work." -Joshua Larson, composer of 'Rent'

GUSH!

As in, this is what I'm gushing over this week. It was literally a life-altering experience. I'm tempted to say the single greatest experience I've ever had in a theatre, but that's so difficult to say. I've seen several Cirque De Soleil shows now, and they're always fantastic, but I do feel I have enough experience with the style now that I can appropriately compare and critique. Which, ha you know--I AM a theatre education major; and we LOVE to compare and critique theatre. This production had a much stronger sense of focus than a lot of Cirque De Soleil shows I've seen, which was the hardest part about it for me before. I never felt a sense of story, or a definite knowledge as to where they wanted me looking . . . the director did that really well here. There was a great balance of duets, solos, and group numbers and even in the extravagant, incredible group numbers Cirque is known for, there was enough organization for me to compartmentalize my thoughts and what I wanted to see for that moment. It was very clear to see: "Okay for this scene, this is important. If you get nothing else, make sure you grab this. But if you get that and want to look at all the other jizz going on too--go for it." I loved that. Along with that balance and focus, the music was the same way. Great rises and falls from high energy to more mellow; the classics everyone can sing along with to lesser known pieces that are equally great. The entire show went through a great chronological and emotional journey of their careers and lives, as well. Many subplots were explored and journeyed through as well, but all these characters were in connection to one another and centralized with the Beatles. I've really come to see the absolute importance of focus and direction of a story. Thank you, Dave Tinney. He's WAY big on that and it is becoming a big part of what I need in my theatrical experiences. So, the direction was fantastic. I also loved how it transitioned between the feeling of being enraptured in one character's mini story to being on acid to just being at a Beatles concert--I was there at the concert. They also used all the original tracks, digitally re-mastered I'm sure because the sound quality was exquisite, but it was absolutely the Beatles. The cast did sing at times, but it was well placed and not overbearing, for the most part they simply allowed the Beatles to do their thing and danced along. What I LOVED the most was when the characters spoke--unmicrophoned, live, and again, not overbearing, just a significant and well-placed word or phrase here or there. They told most of the story via their bodies and other forms of expression, which is definitely a visual feast. It got to a point that they could have thrown pudding and bologna on me and I would have cheered and thought it was the best thing. I was with them every moment. I had absolutely no problem engorging in the twisted, LSD world they presented before me. I just bought it--and I went right along the entire time! I know that this was due to the brilliant staging. This may be the kicker that made it better for me than other Cirque shows. It was a round, but in a sort of strange shape, and practically EVERYONE was on the front row. It was one of those theatres where LITERALLY no one has a bad seat. But I was so close and underneath and a part that it just surrounded me and absorbed me that much more. The intimacy also made me care so much for the characters that in most Cirque shows I don't even realize are significant at that moment because I'm so distracted--again with the focus. I realize that's my film-trained mind being spoken to as a part of a modern audience, but that's just how it goes. Another part that was great was that I was so concerned they would have actors that would actually portray the Beatles--and re-creating true icons ends up just coming off cheesy so often. But they didn't! Instead with digital media, they portrayed them as shadows and these elusive figures you never really see until the VERY end and then they show footage and photographs of them in tribute and a memorial as to who they really were. That was SUCH a strong choice. Additionally, they did have four leading male characters that clearly represented characteristics of each Beatle, but they were NOT the Beatles. They were separate sort of symbolic characters and that, again, was so strong. The structure and conceptualization of everything just . . . worked. Just wonderful, beautiful work to me--I LOVED it!!! I also have an entirely new appreciation for hippy, drug-induced, free love Beatles that I didn't have. In the past I haven't been a huge fan of those Beatles, I've been big on 60's, barely post-50's mindset, suit, bowl-cut Beatles . . . I thought hippy Beatles were kind of sell-outs, but I definitely don't feel that way anymore. They were just different. They evolved and grew the way we all do as human beings. They also transitioned with their generation and a very tumultuous time period. I've always had an affinity for learning about the Viet Nam War and really had a lot of reverence for that part of our country's history. And this gave me another layer of that to feel strongly about--SO interesting and wonderful. BAH! I love it!!! Okay, this has been a freaking novel. I apologize; I don't expect anyone to read all this. But again, my online journal. It's more for me than anyone else. haha thanks team! Go Beatles!

Jonathan Coulton

I loaded all my old CDs onto my iPod. Well, first you should know I've had an iPod for six months. And I didn't buy it--it wasn't my choice, it was a gift. Not that I'm complaining at all, of course, I'm just making the point of how technologically inept I am. I am always way behind the technology curve, but I'm totally okay with it. Ha the best part of my lack of iPod-ness for so long is . . . I think the radio is a modern marvel. THAT is why I've never felt the need to have one. Even still, I'll purposefully leave my iPod home sometimes so I can listen to the radio. Like, it's AMAZING to me. haha I know. What can I say? Anywho, I loaded all my old CDs on my iPod. I just re-discovered Jonathan Coulton via this venue . . . a city Wyatt burned for me years ago. I didn't truly appreciate it until now. He's FANTASTIC. Like, my new favorite guy / thing / music type. Listen to him. Love him. It will all be the best.

CLICK ME!!! Katie just figured out how to create links like me and she's super stoked about it!

Rainy Days

I loooovvvveee the rain. I think for a long time I've felt that I shouldn't love it, because the "dreary rainy days" whining so many people express has been put into my head so many times--it was definitely one of those power of suggestion things, I think. Because now that I am more and more becoming an adult and defining who I am and who I want to be, I'm discovering the things I actually like. Simply because that's what I like! It's not what I should like or need to like or because that's what my parents like, but the things that I, as an INDIVIDUAL, love about the world. But that was a tangent straying from my actual point. Ha which point is . . . I am filled with such peace on rainy days, inside and outside; overcast or sunny; rainbow or downpour, I love it. I could just run and sing and jump in the rain all day every day if I wanted to. I remember when I was maybe ten or eleven, it just poured and poured outside. I believe I was home alone for the day, a fairly commonplace occurrence (I got really good at entertaining myself, as I still am) and I suddenly had a burst of energy and ecstasy for the fact that there was rain pouring down. And this was the wonderful, huge, extremely loud and feverish rain that doesn't let up and doesn't let up and doesn't let up. So I ran outside and I starting singing and jumping and playing and the rain was so loud that I could sing at the top of my lungs and still no one could hear me. In addition to the wonderfulness, there was no one around in the neighborhood, no signs of life anywhere really, no passing cars, it was late afternoon in spring probably around six so it was that glorious almost dark gray skyness, even though you know that the sun is shining, probably setting on the horizon at that time of day, above the thick enclosing layer of beautiful rich clouds. We mere humans just can't see it is all. That was one of the best days of my life. I love the rain.

A little rough--but just an experimental piece

*I don't usually attempt poetry that rhymes. I do feel that there's merit in the fact that is has a meter but it's still free form, however--so maybe we'll try to make that work in the future.

Looking into existence, Did I steal that from another?
Shooting stars will come and go, Learning from my mother.

I should have known they'd always be right;
It was obvious to see that there was little in flight.

Is that upsetting? Or does it feel okay?
Content and rebellion taunt as night to day.

I'm changing my forum, breathing in new life.
While keeping that which questions . . . as the butter upon a knife.

There's something silly and sweet--unassuming and tall;
I need not know about the square or the straight, but rather the diagonal.

Language feeds me, as the earth's divine nectar to a worm;
Not so dull am I to believe that only the "high-minded" can offer something to learn.

Give me the combination--let me hear the ring.
Or at the least, leave me here . . . for man is a giddy thing.

The Violet

Down in a green and shady bed,
A modest violet grew;
Its stalk was bent, it hung its head
As if to hide from view.

And yet it was a lovely flower,
Its colour bright and fair;
It might have graced a rosy bower,
Instead of hiding there.

Yet thus it was content to bloom,
In modest tints arrayed;
And there diffused a sweet perfume,
Within the silent shade.

Then let me to the valley go
This pretty flower to see;
That I may also learn to grow
In sweet humility.
-Jane Taylor

This piece is rad!!!

This is a radical blog I picked it up from too: Pop Art Diva blog--check it out!

Dear world,
I DO use this as a convenient online journal . . . so I stick to what I said earlier in a way, but at the same time--I think it's cool for people to read it! What WAS I thinking?? I stay in touch with cool people this way. All right; the humble pie has been eaten. You are radical people. I like that you read my blog. Please keep it up as my returned blog reading will be kept up. You are awesome! Also, Stephanie--I miss you tons. I got your message while I was at work and I'm calling you ASAP. LOVE!
Love, Katie Sue

Facebook is so not fun anymore. I have to censor myself way too much. This blog has been compromised too.

I don't care how random this blog is and I will tell you why--it's not really a "blog" at all. It's really a convenient journal. The only way I've ever gotten myself to do any consistent documentation of my life is this and as silly as it sounds, I really think it's because I like typing better than writing with a pen or pencil. I hold writing utensils incorrectly and press too hard with them so my hand cramps. AND I can't have rad backgrounds in Word or I would just use that. And then I would have the freedom to use real people's names as opposed to code--but then in the same token, I think the code gives me an interesting challenge oftentimes. Plain and simple--I like typing. So basically, I don't care if you read this. Don't get me wrong; I'm sure there are cool people out there in cyber world so ready to be a blog fan of mine (I mean, who wouldn't want to be?!), but the truth is it's so fine with me if there's not too. SO fine. But thanks for that, world. Fin.

Peter Paul Rubens "The Straw Hat" c. 1626

I'm here again in the city
Reminds me of the time
I drove to town to pick you up
Then we talked of leaving

We knew the bags we packed
in the back would be enough
And it makes me wonder
why we didn't go

Oh no Miss Dani
Why are we here in this town?
We could be driving
We could be to Mexico by now

Now Miss Dani
Why are we here on our own?
We could be together
Laying on a beach in Mexico

Miss Dani I know timing wasn't perfect
When you said you wished we had met five years from now
You know I will be waiting
I still think we should have left two weeks go
And i think that deep inside you you still know

Oh now Miss Dani
Why are we here in this town?
We should be driving
We should be to Mexico by now

Now Miss Dani
Why are we here on our own?
We could be together
Lying on a beach in Mexico

And something I don't want to do
Is leave here without you
You know I could never stay
So I'm leaving anyway

Oh now Miss Dani
Why are we here in this town?
We should be driving
We should be to Mexico by now

Now Miss Dani
Why are we here on our own?
We should be together
Laying on a beach in Mexico

Now Miss Dani
-Stephen Speaks

"I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being."
-Oscar Wilde

Dear Broadway, (Especially Musical Theater Broadway)

I have tried and tried, but the fact of the matter is that I just can't help it . . . I love you. SO SO much. It's really kind of embarrassing if I think about it too long. So put that in your cup and spit on it. Or whatever.

Love, Katie

And It Came to Pass

by C. D. Wright

This june 3
would be different

Time to draw lines
I've grown into the family pores
and the bronchitis

Even up east

I get by saying goddamnit

Who was that masked man

I left for dead
in the shadow of mt. shadow

Who crumbles there

Not touching anything
but satin and dandelions

Not laid his eyes
on the likes of you

Because the unconnected life
is not worth living

Thorntrees overtake the spot

Hands appear to push back pain

Because no poet's death

Can be the sole author
of another poet's life

What will my new instrument be

Just this water glass
this untunable spoon

Something else is out there
goddamnit

And I want to hear it..

Gasp.

Re-creation, re-innovation just may be my favorite type of art.

This Week's Greatest Blessings . . . (in no particular order)

• The remedy of sleep--it seems to be able to heal anything
• Colored light
• Misunderstanding--its yang is great when it comes around
• Confusion--it forces me to hope for light
• Emily Gillespie
• Thumbtacks
• Reading
• New people. Which create new challenges. Which create new ways to get to know oneself. Which get one to do new things. And go to new places. And meet more new people.
• I need Africa more than Africa needs me.
• Adjustment

Cutest new book EVER . . . perfectly describes how every child should feel about themselves and how the adults they turn into should feel, too.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? Yes. Yes you can. Who are we kidding we all saw it coming. haha

These two are getting married . . . Roberto Liddle and Emilou Sue Peterson. Both super rad people. Two BFFs of mine. And each other soon--ha! Get it? Like they're gonna be together forever cuz they'll be MARRIED? haha! oh man, I kill myself. And you too I'm sure. (Wipe a tear, slap my knee, fan myself) Phew, um anywho . . . guess what's rad!? I'm gonna be a bridesmaid! Rad right? And anyway I found this old picture of them and I thought it was a pretty good symbol of their relationship actually. Made me crack up. This is the exchange which I'm sure went with this picture: Roberto-"Okay just one minute I have some brownie to eat . . . Yep just a minute dear . . . Uh huh . . . " Emily-"Oh look Katie has a camera! Smile honey! Smile! Robert!!! Smile with me!" (Pausing in the conversation for a moment to pause for a strained smile photograph, proceeded by Emily slapping Robert on the shoulder for not paying attention) Oh man, they're so cute!!! No but real guys . . . you're awesome. I'm ridiculously happy for you.

High School Peeps So Old Pics . . . But Still Legit and Awesome

Africa Legit . . . A Different Group of Friends But Equally Awesome

Legit It Just Keeps On Going . . .

For real, SO many awesome people in my life. Why am I so blessed!?