I figured it out.
The key that will unlock the unhappiness I've been feeling and release the person I always feel that I am but never seem to quite hold on to.
I want music.
And color.
And food and art.
And food as art and artful food.
And words. Ooooohhh words.
I miss them.
I miss the sky.
And the trees.
I've stopped taking time to do the things that nourish my spirit, that fulfill me. And all that is ending today. The not-doing will now be done. I must simply make it be worth making time for. Because without these things, I'll go crazy.
So...joy. :) I find peace in enjoying the world and I should value that I see through eyes different than anyone else.
There's no law which says I must be this or I have to say that.
I can appreciate the world in whatever way I see fit.
And Heavenly Father loves me for that.