Memoirs of a Food Network Addict: Confession 2

Today's Topic: The NEXT Food Network Star

All right. Normally I don't like to send such negativity into the universe as talking about things I HATE, but this season's got me GOING. They have upped the stakes in drama and "reality TVness" of it all, and I'll admit I'm buying it! So here's my take on Season 7 of the future of my favorite network.


This is Alicia. She's from Missourri, but she has the most bizarre voice I've ever seen/heard. I say seen because look at that mouth. She holds tons of tension in her jaw and she uses her lips in the MOST bizarre way. I hate it. She's also crying and blubbering all the time which is my FAVORITE thing in a professional setting. Get it together, homegirl. FINALLY she was cut...I was so over her lasting as long as she did.

And HERE we have Chris. I do not know what is wrong with homeboy, but he is like a fake-gangster frat boy meathead that does NOT know what he's doing when it comes to cooking. They continuously say his food is gross and he is always doing stupid things! He makes himself look like an idiot. Can't wait 'til he's gone. It won't be long.


Now there's one contestant I THINK I don't like, but sometimes I REALLY like. Her name is Penny. She cooks Middle Eastern and while they always say her food is great, she has got some competition issues. But at the same time, haha, she is REALLY entertaining to watch as she openly strategizes viciously and tries to knock people out. She's a freaking cobra. So while I probably wouldn't watch her ON the Food Network (making her a bad choice to win), for the purposes of the show of The Next Food Network Star...I'm entertained.


And then there's Jeff. *Happy sigh This guy is a big, funny, happy-go-lucky Italian-American that is pushing a concept of every food he makes a sandwich. A) We know how I feel about adorable ESTPs. B) SANDWICHES for everything?! It's AWESOME! But not only is he really likeable, they seem to like his food again and again, so I trust that he knows what he's doing. Mini crush!

So...Jeff is probably my favorite of anybody. But I really like this guy too. Justin is a sweet, dorky, nice guy that also makes really good food. He wears funny little bowties and makes whimsical food...kind of if Alton Brown and James Popin had a baby. He's not really a mini-crush for me like Jeff is, but is definitely a guy I would be friends with. Ha he's like a lot of my friends actually. I like that.


My money though is on Orchid winning. I'm actually not crazy about her...I think she's adorable and cute and there really is nothing to DISlike about her, I just feel like I've seen this chef before. "Bubbly chubby girl that makes unique food"...wait, Aarti?! Is that YOU? haha I have no qualms with this probable winner, but I just LOVE me some Jeff and Justin.

Memoirs of a Food Network Addict: Confession 1

So...I have a huge crush on this man. Olive green velvet blazer? Mmmm.
"Within simplicity lies inherent elegance." -SCOTT CONANT
He's always saying crap like that. About FOOD nontheless. This is why I love him. :) MAYBE he's married with a beautiful daughter or something. So nobody's perfect.

Let Us Live and Love by Gaius Valerius Catullus

My sweetest Lesbia, let us live and love;
And though the sager sort our deeds reprove,
Let us not weigh them. Heaven's great lamps of five
Into their west, and straight again revive;
But, soon as once set is our little light,
Then must we sleep one ever-during night.

If all would lead their lives in love like me,
Then bloody swords and armor should not be;
No drum nor trumpet peaceful sleeps should move,
Unless alarm came from camp of love.
But fools do live and waster their little light,
And seek with pain their ever-during night.

When timely death my life and fortune ends,
Let not my hearse be vexed with mourning friends;
But let all lovers rich in triumph come,
And with sweet pastime grace my happy tomb.
And, Lesbia, close up thou my little light,
And crown with love by ever-during night.

Things That Inspire Me.

Okay. I'm going to indulge something I don't think I EVER have. Never, ever was I one of those little girls who looked through magazines at wedding dresses or dreamt up any ideas about what her day would be like. To be honest I never even really thought too much about what the guy would be like, much less the day itself. I never picked out kids' names and I CERTAINLY had no idea what my wedding ring would look like. And it's not that I'm so altered that I feel I'm even ready for marriage. I am in no way desperate or "waiting for the right guy to come along" or anything like that...I definitely still feel I have a lot to do and want to be before I commit myself to someone forever. I admit I'm a teensy bit of a feminist (at least comparable to many Mormon women) when it comes to this and I want to be married when it is the right time to be married. For me it feels like I still have some time. And I also have a feeling I'm not going to find my guy in Utah. I just have a feeling. However, I am a little more OPEN to the concept of it. And with a lot of friends, people very close and important to me, being married or getting married, it's got me thinking about things. So...this is just a little wish list. A little treasure trove of ideas that could be, if you will.